The Diametric Nature of My Wants and Needs

DIAMETRIC: completely opposed, being at opposite extremes, "in diametric contradiction to his claims" - Merriam Webster Definition

It has been quite a while since I have written at length in this blog. Suffice it to say that it has been extremely busy of late. Not an excuse, or maybe it is as I always feel guilty when my writing gets limited to the technical side, namely the type of writing I do for work.

This particular entry is going to start out sounding like a list of self-centered, material driven  wishes for a genie in a bottle... well some of those I am contemplating are not really material, but could be seen as self-centered. The driver on this may be that I turned 50 in 2014. Maybe the topic is being driven by some intense introspection. Honestly, I could not tell you for sure as to my motivation... other than to write about it.

So... my warning going into this one is simple... please read the ENTIRE entry to the end. Is not the end where the points are usually made? If you tire of the few insights that I am going to give into my "wants," simply scroll down a bit to the summation as it will differ dramatically.

I am going to pen a list of my wants... in some cases listing the "why" behind the want as well. I have been working quite hard lately, in a variety of areas and I believe you could describe my current state of mind as a bit on the taxed side. What better time to want something than when one feels deserving of more than what they feel they have at the moment? Right?

Some that read this blog know me personally. Others know me at a distance, and I am quite sure some reading will not know me at all. This list will give you an insight into some of the things I like and dislike. Please take offense at nothing; this is simply going to be me putting some things down on paper that come into my mind in the arena of what I, as a human influenced by a sinful nature, find that I would like to pursue.

The first list will be the "wants." What I need will follow. I will even attempt to give you some pictures to clarify and amuse you, the reader.

Let's begin:

• I would really like a 50-52 ring gauge Dominican or Cuban Montecristo cigar and a glass of Louis XIII Cognac from Remy Martin. That of course would probably cost me about half of my monthly house payment (with the cigar being less than 10% of the cost). This is a want list so let's make it a bottle of Louis XIII and a humidor full of these wonderful cigars. While we are at it let's just fully stock the solid oak and Spanish cedar humidor (built and given to me by John Davis many moons ago) with Rocky Patel's and other Toro size or larger smokes. We can also add to the Remy... a collection of single-malt Scotches, Kentucky and Canadian Bourbons. Maybe a small fridge of ice cold Guinness as well. Let's just go even farther and have small wine cellar. At risk of sounding like a lush, we will stop there.
• I want a far better house than what I have and I would like that house to be in a far better area not exhibiting the same level of police reports and crime. I would really like this house to be larger than 998 square feet (yes, we have four kids still at home with us in a house that small... and yes I am thankful for what we have as there are far too many that have far less). I want that house to have a private study where I can have my books... and my cigars. I want it to have a sewing room for my wife and a bedroom where each child does not have to share a room. And the kitchen... the kitchen... I want two stoves with at least two ovens. I want one of those stoves to be in an island in the center of the kitchen with a pot and pan rack hanging from the ceiling over it. I want this house to be on the edge of a large woods or forest. It should have many types of trees but with a good mix including many evergreens so that you can smell the pine needles in the fall. It needs to have a large play set with a multitude of activities for the twins. It should have a place for Michael and my wife to practice with the bow and arrow. It will need a basketball goal for Luke and Peter and a playhouse... or better yet a tree house for our "Southern Indiana Tree Pig," Rhiannon. Back on the inside, I want two front-loading clothes washers accompanied by two dryers (even more desired with the whole school uniform thing going on these days and our laundry nearly doubling). I want at least one if not several fireplaces. It should be modern yet appear rustic. Wood, stone and the color green should prevail in the appearance.
• How about a car. I mean a real car. No minivan or SUV (although I am thankful for both and they serve our needs very well). I want something that is fun to drive and filled with stupid little options like color changing dash lights that serve no other purpose than to be "cool." Let's call it a 2013 Ford Mustang. It has to be solid white... or maybe have two medium blue racing stripes from the hood to the trunk. While we are at it, let's have that car just for daily driving... let's replace the 2004 Honda SUV with something very similar. It must have eight seat belt positions and be able to tow a trailer. Let's keep the current trailer, as it suits our needs as a family just fine, but get a new one for the Troop... maybe a 12x6 (and of course the new SUV must be able to pull this with eight people on board. Maybe that trailer will get donated to the Boy Scout Troop some day. I doubt an SUV can pull much more than that safely.
• I want my beard. As I write this, I currently have had to shave it away, as my employer 
  
  does not allow beards. I will post a picture of how I would like to look when I retire (although I doubt I can ever have the masculine looks of Jeff Bridges). Oh, the vanity that does shine through when we think of how we would like to appear. The hair needs to be much longer as well.
• Back to the house... I want some non-worn furniture and room enough to have a table that would seat the entire family plus guests... I think that means seating for twelve. I want my library out of the boxes in storage and back onto book shelves.
• I want a really nice chess set. Luke would probably love this.
• I want to see the stars and moon more... from the Sonoran desert of Arizona, from the mountains of Colorado and New Mexico and from the beaches of Florida.
• I want a Swedish Vallhund. Look it up. One really cool dog that could sit beside me next to an outdoor fireplace and look all stately while I smoke my cigars and drink my Cognac.
• I need (oops... slipped up there... should be "want") a shed. Not really a shed, but a true yard barn... looked at a 24x15. That should do it. Room for getting rid of our monthly storage payment and still enough room for my wife's tools and a workbench (she will be a topic of an upcoming blog). I really want the two story yard barn but our silly City code says you cannot have a structure on your property taller than your house.
• I want to find a ton of money for our Boy Scout Troop (see earlier blog posts). We need that trailer... bad. We need to finish out cookware and patrol boxes for three more patrols. Most of all, we need to have enough cash on hand that we can pay ahead of time for summer camp reservations (October for the coming June). While we are at it, I would love to hit the lottery (or some other means of no work/extreme payout fantasy) that would allow the wife and I to buy the blue building occupying the only part of that block that our church does not own. We could then donate it to the church for use as a daycare/preschool during the day and to be used for Scout and other organization meetings during the evenings.
• I want to send my  oldest son to the 2015 World Scout Jamboree in Japan.
• I want a vacation. One of at least two weeks duration. I want to see mountains and I want to see the ocean during said vacation. No email.
• From my EMS side... I never want to hear anyone say the word Ebola again.
• I want to drive to St. Louis on a Saturday and spend about four hours in the Concordia Publishing House bookstore... with an unlimited checkbook. I have seen Rev. Dr. Noland's library... I could read for the rest of my life and never be filled with the knowledge that I seek.
• I want to quit my entire EMS career and devote my time to impact. By impact I mean in the church, with youth, with the community... maybe even by designing excellent systems of prehospital clinical care delivery (yeah, we circled back to the EMS devil again). Since we circled back to EMS... I want to really devote a ton of time to the Indiana EMS Commission. We have a great framework for EMS in Indiana. It needs an infusion of evidence-based medicine and practice to make it even better.
• I want time with my wife. I want to make it where she does not have to work for us to survive. Not saying that I want to her to have to stay home. I want her free to make real impact as well. I want to camp with her. I want to travel with her (by the way have I ever mentioned how much I hate travelling without my wife?).
• I want to look at our personal finances just once without wondering how we make ends meet. I still am not sure how the bills get paid other than by the grace of God.
• I want to be able to buy an energy drink whenever I want one.
• I want unlimited coffee... made by a Keurig or french press. Unlimited. Darker roasts preferred.
• I want Monday's off. Every Monday. I want to be able to spend every Monday morning in scripture study with Pastor's Wiist, Moog and Esterline. I learn much there.
• I want time to help out and work more within Evansville Lutheran School.
• I want my kids to mind what my wife and I say without question (is that really too much?).
• I want our nation to protect Christian freedoms. If you want to protect other religions freedoms, do so. Do it without hindering ours.

So... by now you have a very small glimpse at the wants of Lee Turpen and a little bit of the why associated with the desires. This is not a complete list. No one could ever make one. I have my good thoughts and bad thoughts just like every sinner on the face of God's creation.

So what about the needs? In reality, I could make a very long list with some form of human mental, logical justification for each which somehow by my own definition would be different from a "want."

Here is the reality. I have no needs.

And He said to them, "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." - Luke 12:15, ESV

Every need I could ever have was taken care of at the cross of Jesus. Daily, redeemed sinners around the world pray. We petition the Father for many things... that we regain our health, that we can pay the next bill, that our situation would change, or that we would not be oppressed. These are asked for as are many others.

Here is more on that reality. The only thing I need is God's saving grace. I have sinned through commission and omission. I have sinned through Adam. I am sentenced to eternal death which is separation from God. This need has been met...

Thy Word they still shall let remain nor any thanks have for it;

He's by our side upon the plain with His good gifts and Spirit.

And take they our life, goods, fame, child and wife,

Let these all be gone, they yet have nothing won;

The Kingdom ours remaineth.

-Martin Luther (A Mighty Fortress is Our God)

We sometimes lament when a prayer is not answered and fail to realize that the ultimate prayer... rescue from the result of our sin, has already been granted. As evil as the many things that can and do happen to us seem, the ultimate rescue has already been made for those that believe the crucified and risen Savior.

For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. - I Corinthians 1:18

So... my wants are many. The perception of my needs may also be many. My actual needs are none. Through the Word, Water and the Sacrament of the Altar I am saved. I perceive that I need comfort in this. That comfort is received through His body and His blood.

Scripture alone tells us that salvation is through grace alone, by faith alone through Christ alone to the glory of God alone. Not my sentence structure, but one I read once that now makes perfect, daily sense to me.

I will look upon the cross and remember that I really have no needs. I guess I have a "need." It's a want, and a desire. It is for Christ and His sacraments. It is a need of my own to hold close my baptism, and receive "mystic, sweet Communion." It is to hold the Word, Faith and the promise of His Grace very close and to glorify Him.

Verbum Domini Manet in Aeternum.

And by the way... want a good read... the article at the link below has my vote for short read of the year!

http://birdchadlouis.wordpress.com/2014/09/29/how-a-small-rural-congregation-became-a-megachurch-overnight/