Reminded Of Why I Am A Scouter

Recently, I had the opportunity to get away from EMS for the day. I had some things I wanted to do, and as most days go, some "things" I absolutely had to do. A good portion of those "things" were related to Scouting.

I know many adult Scouters who seem to always have the fervor boiling up inside them... they are eager to jump on any Scouting endeavor and tackle it with the demeanor of the eighth point of the Scout Law (cheerful). I have to admit that there are times when I get weighed down a bit by Scouting.

After all, the vast majority of adult Scouters in the United States are volunteers. We have jobs, families, worries... and other responsibilities outside of the Boy Scouts of America. It really does not matter whether you are a leader in a Cub Scout Pack, a Troop, a Venture Crew or and Explorer Post... Scouting is hard work when you are trying to do the best you can toward the end goal... youth development.

Not only do you have to apply the program with the aims and methods of Scouting, but you have to personally live the Scout Oath and Law. Why? Because the youth you train to do so, usually become very aware of what it means and they may even occasionally... and rightfully... call you out if you fail to be a quality example as an adult. In my view, Scouting is as much a development program for me as it is for the youth. I have seen some pretty amazing levels of changes and growth in the Scouts I have been around over the years, but I would be remiss if I did not recognize that Scouting has made me a better leader... a better citizen... more responsible... the list goes on.

So... many of my blog entries are about my faith. This will not be one of them (although I cannot promise that it will not end there by the end of the entry as "Reverent" is the twelfth point of the Scout Law).

This is going to be about refreshment in Scouting.

Sometimes the weekly "Scout Meeting" can get pretty rote and mundane. Opening... announcements... Scouting Skills... planning... physical activity...

There are always issues too. Finances, rule changes, the Scout who can be a bit challenging at times, how to get a new Troop trailer... all of these can over time take their toll. Focusing on this minutia can take it's toll on "cheerful."

Sometimes you have to take a step back and remember what it is all about. This is one of the reasons I am a strong advocate of the Wood Badge course for adult leaders in Scouting. This course makes you live through what the Scouting adventure is all about. There are five points that are driven home hard during this course:

1) Living the Values
2) Bringing the Vision to Life
3) Models for Success
4) Tools of the Trade
5) Leading to Make a Difference

I would encourage any Scouter who has nit taken Wood Badge to do so. The training opens up Scouting for what it is; an amazing program for responsible youth development.

So what does this have to do with my recent day? I have been through Wood Badge and even served on staff for a course as well.

I have not been so cheerful as of late. I have been focusing on the minutia. I knew I needed to get back to the basics. I needed a Scouting booster shot.

So I went to Camp.

Not just camping. I decided to spend the day at Old Ben Scout Reservation for the last full day of Summer Resource Camp. My son was on staff again this year teaching First Aid and Emergency Prep merit badges and the place is being ran by some of the best, hard-core Scouters I know... Mike Eppler and Jay Coy. They bleed patrol method and still know how to talk to boys to get their attention and also foster responsibility.

I had to be in that area for two different reasons that day. One of which was to quickly bring my son back to Evansville for his Eagle Project initial proposal approval at Eykamp Scout Center and then return him back to his staff duties at camp.

One of the several Scouting hats I wear is the one where I chair the Council's Risk Management Committee. On the last full day of Resource Camp, the Scout Executive and another adult Scouter usually cook a "Scoutmaster's Breakfast" to discuss what is currently going on in Scouting and get input on how programs are going from the adult leaders in attendance. I asked to tag along and say a few words about safety and incident reporting in Scouting and to help cook breakfast.

So right off the bat I was at Camp. Call this Refresher #1: Setting foot in a Scout Camp brings with it the scents of the outdoors, organization, uniforms, activities and all of it being ran by Patrol Method. Camp has character. In its own special way it is a home away from home. One of the ever present coffee mugs for leaders made it's way into my hands.

I was asked to do part of the cooking. Scoutmaster Breakfast is known for being steak and eggs. I was asked if I wanted to cook the steaks. There were two large iron skillets waiting on the stove... Refresher #2: Cooking. I went straight at cooking approximately thirty-five steaks, searing each side and assuring that they were not over cooked (including one that I am pretty sure could still moo for Mike). I cooked all of them without burning any... in iron skillets... catharsis!

The next hour was spent talking about Scouting. I also gave my couple of minutes on safety and incident reporting. We talked about Scouting. The five things from that Wood Badge list? Everything sort of fell into those groups. Refresher #3: Scout talk with Scouters. Some Scouters are a bit older and somewhat "grizzled" to use Mike's terminology (although I am not so sure that many of us are not getting there quickly).

After that, I went to the Trading Post. You guessed it, Refresher #4. I bought a patch I liked and had the aptly named Scout Camp frozen beverage... a "squishy."

I went out side and watched a new game that has made it's way into camp requiring a walled eight-sided pit called Ga-Ga Ball. It is a variant of dodge ball that is played focusing on using the hands to manipulate the ball while striking the ball on the lower leg to get someone out. Quite entertaining. games are essential to Scouting. Refresher #5: Learning a new game for Scouts.

I would again be remiss if I did not note that being around wooden buildings and simply being at peace around Lodge-Pole Pine trees and sitting in the shade did not add to the calming of Scouting worries. See Refresher #1... camp.

Camp shirt with Camp Terms

I watched some patrols getting awards placed on their patrol staves. These awards meant participation and in some cases placing in an event. All of the points would be added so that later in the week, that night in fact, it would all culminate in being designated an Honor Patrol or maybe even being one of the top three honor patrols. Again, Patrol method at work. The patrols that learn how to divide and conquer in good spirit gain the most consistent points. Refresher #6: Scouting at work, applied by the masters of the art.

I ate lunch with the camp staff. Turkey, bacon and lettuce on toast with a baked potato bar. First steak, now this! Refresher #7: Eating camp food.

I grabbed another cup of coffee and went over and watched my son and another Scout teach First Aid. Refresher #8: Scouts are capable and can do just as well as adults in many scenarios. Sometimes even better.

The time approached where we would have to leave to get my son Michael back to Evansville to present his Eagle Project Proposal to a group of adult Scouters he did not know. We drove the hour home, he cleaned up and got back in his official BSA uniform complete with his merit badge sash. He now has over fifty merit badges. It looked good. He had his binders with his project description and a mock up of the kits he is proposing to make and distribute through various agencies to help those who may be in immediate need.

I had to drop him off at the Scout Center and run the twins to their baseball practice where my wife would take over so I could run back and be ready to hear the verdict when Michael came out of the presentation.

When I arrived back at the Scout Center, he was already out. Project approved. They had asked him if he had practiced  his presentation. He told them "no" (a Scout is Trustworthy). He really did not need to practice it. He has known that this is the project he wanted to do since he made a commitment that he was going to get his Eagle when he was still a Cub Scout (Thank you Chief Ritchie from Amarillo, Texas).

Being around young men preparing their Eagle Project? Refresher #8.

After the obligatory celebration picture and discussing the reality that this was only the start of the Eagle Project, we headed back to old Ben to get him back to his staff duties.

Campfire Program

We arrived just before the final night Campfire Program. If you have never attended a BSA Summer Camp Campfire, this is hard to explain. It is made up of skits, songs, audience participation, laughter, awards and solemn comments about scouting. The camaraderie of Scouting is palpable at the Campfire. Refresher #9: A good Campfire Program.

After, the Campfire comes the call out for the Order of the Arrow, where eligible youth and adult Scouters who have met the requirements and have been voted on by their peers are made aware that they have been selected to become members of the BSA's honor camping society.

Sadly, I could not stay for the call out. Duties called at home. I had to work in the morning, and a few medical pains were wearing on me. I walked alone through the early evening darkness to my car outside of camp.

The path from Old Ben

The moon was up. The trees framed the pathway that led out of camp. It reminded me of a night six years ago. Michael had just crossed over to a Troop from his Cub Scout Pack six months before. We were in a tent on the eastern face of Pike's Peak in Colorado at a small trailside clearing near Barr Camp. A steady wind was coming down the face from the peak. I remembered the sky and that moment between day and night at dusk.



I remembered how good it was to be there and to be in Scouting. I even knew I had a picture of the peak somewhere tucked away.

Pike's Peak in 2010

I remembered what the whole Scouting thing is all about and how we are a part of it. Refresher #10: Nostalgia and memories.

Scouting is non-sectarian in it's application of the term "Reverent" in the Scout Law. I am sure this has many meanings to many Scouters. To me it is an acknowledgement that in all endeavors, the importance of our faith and teaching it to youth cannot be minimized. Driving home thinking about the impact Scouting has when applied to the twelve points of the Scout Law was refreshing in and of itself.

I am now refreshed.

Go to Camp.

Get refreshed. Lead to make a difference. Bring the vision to life.

Here is a little video from Neeley Photography that shows a bit of what happens at camp... 2016 OBSR Resource Camp Video

The BETTER Half

San Diego 2016

This particular blog entry has been under construction since early 2013. I have been tucking away a paragraph here and a paragraph there, slowly trying to log my feelings about my wonderful wife. Each time I pulled up this draft to work on it, I always felt as if I could not tie it all together into something that would make sense.

I finally think I may be able to do that today.

Although I do not think many women would much care for being described as a rock, I first and foremost must do such. She is a rock for our family. Without her very mindful focus on the needs and desires of our children, I am sure that I would fail in that endeavor. She assures that the sports involvement is where it should be, that my oldest son gets to see his girlfriend and that my oldest daughter's Parent Plus college loans get paid on time. Not to mention the challenges of two children with ADHD.

This alone makes her far to busy and tired, but it does not end there.

Who roofed the house? She did. Who put the siding on the house? She did. Who got a massive circular saw on a ten-foot stand for Christmas one year? She did. And who used it to (I only held pieces in place) cut and install laminate flooring? You guessed it... she did. She does electrical work too...

She likes to surprise me and makes it work to the best even though she knows I am surprise adverse.

She manages the household and continually manages to make the finances balance while reducing our debt. It sometimes seems like she works magic with the finances. I was never that adept with my simple spreadsheets and numbers (that were rarely right). She tends to not miss the details that make things work out right.

So as far as "needing a man" in her life goes... she could probably get by pretty well without one. But even then, she manages to put up with an aging paramedic manager who is getting hard of hearing and having trouble remembering things.

I honestly do not know how she does everything she does. I do know that it wears her out. She is a leader in both Cub Scouts and Girl Scouts. She works with our local Boy Scout Council with day camp planning and camp inspections. She works with cookie and popcorn sales. She assures that Rhiannon gets to Sylvan and the twins get to baseball. She understands WHY each of our children do the things they do (such as how to talk to Luke and why he is reclusive). Her intuition is seldom wrong. She listens and processes and understands... and tries, sometimes to futility, to help me understand as well. She shows her love to the point of exhaustion and seldom gets the rest which she needs.

Both of us receiving District Award of Merit in 2008

She can make things in a Dutch oven with campfire coals unlike anyone else and make enough of it to feed a small army. She can run a scouting campsite with dozens of wild Cub Scouts going in a million different directions. As a matter of fact, she teaches it. She can use a bow and arrow or a firearm... and teach that too. And she makes that Scout uniform look good...

I knew she was cut from a different cloth when I first tested the waters of friendship. Back then... a long time ago in the late nineties, we would stay up all night just sitting on the couch talking. Her intelligence and maturity amazed me. It did not take long for me to know that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I did not really even want to lose out on a minute with her. I waited to see if she would feel the same about me. We married in 1997 and renewed our vows ten year later in 2007. Both are some of the happiest moments in my life. She even taught me that having many children was an amazing thing to not fear.



Key West 1997

Even after a breathless moment of realizing that there was a twelve year difference in our ages (which we did not realize for about two months), we swept that aside and continued on.

She even introduced me to my first Lutheran service on a Maundy Thursday. She was God's guiding hand that night to finally bring to a place where my lifelong religious turmoil was ended.

No man could ask for a better spouse. We have our moments. Marriage is hard. Raising kids is even harder. We have misunderstandings. We argue. I do not always understand what she wants but I am committed to always trying. I can always do more to help. When she was in nursing school, I was actually able to help her study on some things. A lot of the work we do as parents today, just requires doing. Two parents in health care can be a schedule killer where kids are concerned.

Simple things such as housecleaning sometimes become overwhelming.

As I grow older, I learn wisdom from this woman who is twelve years younger than I, and I often wonder what she sees in this aging man who is hopeful that he will never lose her favor. She has tolerated so much from me (and has not killed me yet! LOL). She knows I need to take better care of myself and points it out when I tend to play self medic and do anything other than go see our perfectly competent physician.

I love to buy her things but she is so practical that it makes gift buying hard. Sometimes I have to be content to just help her pick out a new outfit at the store.

If you read Proverbs chapter 31, she is pretty much the woman of that description, but there is a whole other side too.

Painting With A Twist

I would be remiss if I did not discuss the fact that I am attracted to her. It is the whole package that attracts me to her. When she really laughs, her eyes light up in a special way. I love the times (now rare) when we both have the time to open up and talk, or that we actually solve a problem together as a team... or maybe even paint a picture together. An evening Martini is sometimes all we get just before Bonefish Grill closes... but I will take it and hold each moment close.

To hear her say, "I forgot my makeup," makes me smile. She really does not need it. Men are visual. Our eyes wander. Mine do not have to as there is no other woman in this world that attracts me in the way that she does. What she may see as an imperfection, I find to simply be her. Everything about her makes the nasty old world around me melt away and takes away the stress and worries of all it entails. Our pastor often states, "bounce your eyes," when you see other women so that you do not take your mind off your wife. When I see other women, I may notice attire or something else, but  the first thing that comes to my mind is that it may look good on my wife or that she might like it. I desire no other. She is fearless and adventurous which adds to her mystique.

I would rather spend time with her than anyone else in the world. All of my friends know that the only thing I really want to do is be somewhere with my wife. Given any alternative, I would rather be with her than anywhere else.

The sad thing about all of this is that it is so hard to continually remember to say this and show love by my words and actions. It gets lost in the shuffle.

Annette... know one thing. I think about you all day, every day. There is no place I would rather be than with you. Whether it is fire, storm or Hell thrown at us, I will not ever desert you.

The three most often repeated word in the English language must be "I love you," but I do not ever think they should be taken lightly, nor do I think they describe enough. Those three little words can describe the highest levels of elation and the harshest pain there can be while on earth.

I mean them when I say them.

I love you. It is you and only you. For me there is nothing that this world has for me that is more desirable that you.

As a husband, I see that Christ gave His life for His bride, the Church. Marriage is the representation of that union on Earth.

My bride is Annette Turpen. I am so proud of her for everything she does, everything she gives and love her just as she is... my beautiful, works too much, seldom given appreciation wife. She calls me Silly Rabbit, or at least she has many times. That is because I am just that... silly. Sometimes in a good way, and sometimes because I just cannot seem to wrap my sill head around simple things. I am glad she can tolerate that and love me.

2015

I want to grow old with you. Our marriage will be twenty years in length in the not too distant future. I must always remember to show you the respect and affection you deserve and let you know through touch, words and actions that you are the one I put on the pedestal.

Just know that you are the only one for me. I love you... always. We are two halves of one. You are the better half. Real husbands with great wives know this to be true.

What makes a good man is the woman walking beside him.

Indiana's Next Step with the National Registry of EMTs

This blog entry is going to be a purely EMS related one for a change. Since social media and blogging tend to be a great way to get a message out... and this message needs to get out to a lot of people fairly quickly, I think this just may do the trick.

The April 29, 2016 meeting of the Indiana EMS Commission heralded in a change in how we handle initial Emergency Medical Technician certification in the state. As Chairman of the Commission, and as I am sure my fellow Commissioners would agree, I know that there will be a lot of questions, conjecture, rumors and angst regarding this decision. I even believe that the EMS staff at the Indiana Department of Homeland Security would look at history regarding certain actions of the Commission and how incorrect information grew legs (and horns) of its own before we (Commission and staff) could even get the minutes approved to release.

So... I agreed to get the details and reasons behind this decision regarding the National Registry out publicly as quickly as possible. So here we go:

Let's starts with the facts. Last year, we formed a small sub-committee within the Commission to explore moving the Indiana EMT cognitive (written) exam to the National Registry cognitive exam. That committee consisted of Commissioner Zartman (who has a vast and intricate knowledge of the National Registry and serves as the Training Institution representative to the Commission), Director Garvey and myself.

We then gleaned information from the Registry as to what this would entail from their side and the availability of testing centers. We then met with Registry on several occasions, the latest of which was a breakfast meeting just prior to the Commission meeting yesterday. These meetings were with the Chief Operations Officer of the National Registry, Rob Wagner. Depending on the topic, these meetings also included department leaders from the Registry as well.

Here are two key points to start:

1) We NEVER discussed moving the Emergency Medical Responder (EMR or old terminology, First Responder) to initial National Registry testing, and 2) We did not discuss moving the EMT psychomotor (or practical) testing to the Registry.

This is only in regards to initial EMT level testing.

After looking at this from many angles, our small committee made a series of motions through Commissioner Zartman for adoption by Indiana. Here are some of the areas angles that we looked at that had an affect on our decision:

1) Test validity: The Registry exams are all frequently going revision and validation.
2) Standards: The standards of care, curricula, research, AHA guidelines and other influences are rapidly changing. The Registry is adept and the only entity already in motion with constant change to match what is happening in EMS and the educational standards.
3) Test security: The Registry already has secure testing centers aligned through Pearson VUE testing centers that offer quiet, standardized areas to take exams.
4) Costs: It is financially irresponsible for a government agency to spend funds for test improvement on an ongoing basis when the testing already exists at an unparalleled level through the Registry.
5) Accessibility: Looking at the Pearson VUE testing centers, there are quite a few in Indiana and several that are just across the state borders, making accessibility usually less than one hour drive time anywhere in the state. Mind you that these are the same testing centers that nursing students must go to for the NCLEX exam regardless of where they live.
6) Training Institution performance: We will be better able to monitor training institution performance.

So that being said, Commissioner Zartman, with my agreement wrote his motions out so that they covered all of the needed areas regarding moving the Indiana EMT cognitive assessment to the NREMT cognitive assessment. They are verbatim (so you can see the facts as they were presented and without any conjecture) as follows:

Motion #1:  To convert the current Indiana Basic EMT Cognitive Testing required by Indiana Administrative Code to the National Registry “EMT” “Cognitive” testing, to become effective, on July 1, 2017.  At that time, Indiana will “NO” longer administer the Cognitive Indiana Basic EMT Examination.

Motion #2:  From July 1, 2016 through June 31, 2017, Certified Training Programs or individuals seeking certification may elect to use the Indiana State EMT “Cognitive” exam and/or the National Registry EMT “Cognitive” Examination for initial certification.  If the NREMT examination is utilized during this time frame, all sub components of Indiana Certification must be met and verified by the initial training program.   IE:  Post, Autism, SIDS, Haz-Mat Awareness, prior to certification. 

Motion #3:  The IDHS Staff in conjunction with NREMT will conduct Statewide District Training Institution Primary Instructor Updates to accommodate all Indiana State Districts.  These sessions will occur beginning July 1, 2016 – June 30, 2017.  It will be required that all “Training Instructions” and “Primary Instructors” attend at least one (1) of the sessions to remain active to teach at the EMT level.  Schedule to be announced within the next 30 days. 

The purpose of these sessions will be to inform the TI Directors, Coordinators, and all Primary Instructors on the overall processes for the transition/conversion to the new testing standards and processes of the NREMT testing and administrative processes as well as emphasizing the need to teach the National Educational Standards (NES).

Motion #4: All current or in-process “Primary Instructors” must attend one of the NREMT Training Institution Training Programs during the year period of July 1, 2016 – June 30, 2017 to remain certified as a “Primary Instructor”.  Failure to complete the program will suspend the Primary Instructors Certification until they have successfully completed the formal process.  This process is currently in the implementation phase and will be addressed at a later date.

After July 1, 2017, the Indiana State EMT Cognitive Examination will no longer be offered for initial testing at the EMT-Basic level and all persons requested to obtain Indiana Certification must successfully pass the National Registry EMT Examination after completion of successful completion of an Indiana approved Training program or met all entry requirements for reciprocity.

Motion #5:  The Indiana Department of Homeland Security EMS Division – State Psychomotor Examination will remain active and serve as the entry level verification for Indiana State Certification and also confirmation to the NREMT for verification of successful compliance. 

Motion #6:  IDHS and its subcommittees will develop on line training programs and testing for all Indiana specific training models required by Statute or by EMS Commission Direction to be completed by all initial entry, re-entry, or reciprocity candidates for certification.

Motion #7:  IDHS will send out notification to all TI’s and Primary Instructors of this implementation plan and the attendance requirements to remain active as an “EMS Commission Certified Training Institution and/or Primary Instructor.

These motions were seconded by various members of the Commission and were each unanimously approved. Prior to the vote, during discussion, the plan was publicly endorsed by the Indiana Emergency Medical Services Association and the EMS Education Working Group (a group of Indiana Primary Instructors who offer feedback and advice to the State EMS staff and the Commission. The idea had been previously endorsed by the Indiana EMS Technical Advisory Committee as well.

The IDHS staff is to send out a letter to all Primary Instructors that must attend the educational sessions on this process. This will occur soon.

We must weigh the pros and cons of any major change. The biggest advantage of this is that we will be insuring a more consistent, tested and frequently updated minimal standard for entry into Indiana EMS. This is an advantage to the patient. An advantage to the new EMT, if they maintain the Registry certification, is that they will be able to more easily get reciprocity in many states should they choose to change location or have need to work elsewhere.

The National Registry has already been publically identified as the "Nation's EMS Certification" via multiple entities. It was also noted as a need for Indiana in the recent NHTSA EMS assessment of our state.

Here are some more facts regarding this change:

1) We are not requiring Indiana EMTs or Paramedics to MAINTAIN National Registry Certification. This is being implemented for initial certification of EMTs just as we did with Paramedics back in the 1990's. I will add that once you get it, you really should keep it as there are some employers who will not hire without it and it does give you access to certification in many states.

2) Reiterating... this DOES NOT affect the Indiana testing at the EMR level or the psychomotor (practical) testing at the EMT level.

3) National Registry certification is an attestation to a national level of competency.

4) The CAT EMT Exam has 70-120 questions and a time limit of two hours (as compared to 80-150 questions and 2 hours, 30 minutes for the Paramedic exam). 

5) There is an accommodation process available for those with diagnosed, documented issues that will allow for private testing rooms and longer test times, but the accommodation process must be completed BEFORE scheduling your cognitive test.

6) There is no minimum number or percent of correct items needed to pass as with a traditional paper-and-pencil test (straight from the NREMT website). The exam gauges competency by area with a narrowing confidence level as the exam progresses.

7) All candidates will be challenged to the limit of their ability, so everyone taking the exam will think it is difficult (straight from the NREMT website).

8) The cost of the EMT Cognitive exam is currently $70 and will rise to $80 next year (the first increase in many years). The Registry gets very little of this fee as it is mainly eaten up in the process of the testing. This is still much less expensive than the testing for many other healthcare certifications.

9) Receipt of your National Registry certification card DOES NOT grant clinical privileges to function by the State of Indiana. A student will still need to receive a certification card from the state following initial testing before they may function as an EMT in the state. 

10) Even though some training institutions may not authorize the cognitive test until after a psychomotor test is completed, this is NOT a Registry rule. A candidate can take the cognitive prior to the psychomotor exam but cannot be certified until both have been successfully completed. There are many of us at the Commission level who are curious as to why some institutions do not allow the cognitive to be taken first as it is generally the way that it happens.

There may be some who do not agree with this decision. As a Commission, and professionals from various aspects of EMS, we believe that this is the best course of action for assuring quality and standards in the assessment and certification process and a level of competency in Indiana EMS that our patients deserve. This will be a good thing. Transitions take time and are seldom without issue, so work with us on this one and become an early adopter. Instructors and Institutions: There are some opportunities (as listed in the motions above) to go ahead and start doing the testing soon. Jump in the boat. Get your feet wet with the rest of us.

The benefits will become obvious over time in instructional quality, consistency, certification portability and most of all patient care.

Lastly, on this topic, in the side bar are the front and back of a checklist that is hot off the presses from the National Registry and hand delivered by Rob Wagner. These show a simple step-by-step process for obtaining initial Registry certification. I am sure these checklists will be available at the Primary Instructor training sessions and I can email them by request as well.

I was actually going to write on a piece of Indiana history today... Tulip Trestle. But that will have to wait as this Registry explanation is important information to get in the hands of everyone who will be wondering and it is meant to be an initial resource for dispelling the myths related to change. I did indeed finally visit the trestle yesterday, but you will have to wait for that blog entry till the near future. I hope you will find this writing today useful.

Thank you for visiting!

A Tulip Trestle teaser pic...

 

In the Wake of the Ree-ism, I was Reminded of the Ultimate Luke-ism...

Luke

Shortly after my last entry, a collection of "Ree-isms" from my now seven-year-old daughter, my loving wife reminded me of the ultimate short discourse from out of my then 11-year-old son Luke.

Luke has been the topic of several blog entries as he is the quiet, reclusive member of the Turpen offspring. He prefers to stay out of the limelight, conversations, activities... well you get the point. He only comes out of his shell at times and places of his choosing.

That being said...

A little over a year ago, at the height of the national focus on Ebola, a short verbal exchange occurred. This time it was not from Rhiannon, but from Luke.

To set the stage, my wife was at work and I had Michael (15), Luke (11), Peter (6) and Rhiannon (6) in the car on the way to a late dinner. It was dark and cold outside and everyone was bundled up and a bit on the quiet side. A news report on Ebola had just finished on the radio. We were stopped at a traffic light.

Luke (from the back seat): "Dad?"

Me: "Yes?"

Luke: "How much is a biohazard suit?"

At this point I was thinking that he must be finding the whole Ebola topic disturbing. Silly me... I was so wrong."

Me: "They can be pretty expensive, why?"

Luke: "We're going to need five of them."

Michael (interjecting from the front seat): "Five? There are six of us including Mom."

Luke (without hesitation): "Because I'm not buying one for you!"

Michael looks out the window, shaking his head while he realized the ultimate set up on him had played out perfectly using Ebola as the backdrop.

Kids...

The Phenomenon of the Ree-ism

Those that follow my Facebook posts are somewhat acquainted with the "Ree-ism."

The Ree-isms are essentially the one or two line, opportunistic, witty, immediate responses or just simple reactions of my seven year old daughter Rhiannon. They are at times so funny that everything going on just seems to stop and the mood of the moment is reset. I would be wrong if I did not readily admit that these comments are not filled at times with a generous amount of sarcasm.

I may be partially at fault for this as I usually am not at a shortage where sarcasm is concerned, but I have to give her credit for the ability to time these responses so that mouths drop open in surprise.

I suppose the earliest manifestation of this may have been when she was around two and I was watching Battlestar Galactica a lot. We used to say a little exchange from the TV show back and forth at bed time or during other conversational moments:

Adama (Me): "Starbuck, what do you hear?"

Starbuck (Ree): "Nothing but the rain."

Adama: "Grab your gun and bring in the cat."

Ree: "Aye aye, Sir." (or other appropriate response to the situation)

An example of this exchange from the show can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmqdsFq9fgs

I think this back and forth may have given her the impression that every comment needs some appropriate response. So without further delay, here is a small collection of Ree-isms.

Hopefully... these will give you a good laugh as they do me.

******

While out car shopping... sales associate walks up and says, "Your daughter is quite the storyteller..."

Me: "Which story?"

Sales associate: "All about Zombies."

Me: {{{FACEPALM}}}

******

While selling Girl Scout cookies in front of Schnuck's... a Keebler semi truck with cookie ads on the trailer pulls up in front of the building...

Ree: "Grrrrrrr... competition..."

******

Again while selling Girl Scout cookies...

Me: "You are slow tonight. You usually are writing down the sale before they finish their selection."

Ree: "That's because I read minds!" (followed by evil laughter)

******

Me: "Hmmm... Michael's application for NYLT requires my approval. What should I hold over his head."

Ree: "A bucket of cold water."

Well played Rhiannon... well played.

******

In the checkout lane at Wal-Mart....

Me, replying to a verbal, good hearted sparring match with Michael: "Never underestimate how quickly an old paramedic can put you on the floor..."

Michael: "Go ahead if You're man enough."

Rhiannon (without hesitation) punches Michael in the gut.

Me: "I got peeps for that."

******

While at an event with a guy in a bumble-bee suit.

The guy in the bumble bee suit comes at her buzzing...

Ree points at Michael and says, "Take him."

******

Peter: "I hate long sleeve shirts."

Ree: "I feel your pain."

******



Elf on the shelf...

Ree-ism for Christmas day... Item lying in the middle of the road...

 

Me: "Is that an elf on the shelf?"
Ree: "It was..."

 

******

 

Me: "Eat, Drink and be Merry! For tomorrow we die!" (Just a random quote I threw out there while driving).

Ree: "I am not getting married and am not planning on dying tomorrow. Thank you."

 

******

 

Following a conversation I was having with Michael...

Michael: "Rhiannon, just kill me now."

Rhiannon (without delay): "Dad... can I have a gun?"

Mic drop.

 

******

 

Teenage angst backfire....

Michael: "Dad... you make every situation worse."

Before I can respond...

Ree: "That's his job!"

My work here is done....

 

******

 

While walking the dog and totally out of the blue...

Ree: "Is the Government listening to us right now?"

Me: "Only if you have Facebook on your phone..."

 

Ree (suspiciously squinting): "I knew it!"

 

******

 

Me: "You are wise beyond your years."

 

Ree: "Sometimes."

 

******

 

Off with sick kids one day... stopped at McDonald's to feed the two staying home. Placed the order and the cashier stopped me from swiping the card while shaking her head... she said, "Pay it with love." Rhiannon jumped up and hugged me. The meal was free...

 

******

 

After two weeks of family time and two trips to Walmart in one day... I needed some time to spend with my wife...

Me: "Can I have five minutes?"

Ree: "No."

 

******

 

At the Emergency Room with Rhiannon. Lacerated toe... super glue time...

 

Doctor: "Are you going to be more careful next time?"

 

Ree: "Where's the fun in that?"

 

******

 

Rhiannon saw me grab the alfredo sauce. 

 

Ree: "I'll get the garlic!"

 

******

 

And my all time favorite. Rhiannon is in the back seat. Peter is in front...

 

Peter: "I want to sit in the back seat."

 

Ree (without a seconds hesitation): "Life isn't fair, Peter."

 

******

 

So, that is a glimpse into life with Ree... otherwise known as the "Southern Indiana Tree Pig," but that is another story. The other side of that coin is that she is usually the one who greats me at the door... the last to let go of me at school in the morning... and the first one to fall into something totally stupid or totally serious with me.

 

She is 100% girl while being blatantly fearless when it comes to things that boys usually hold near and dear. After all, she has a twin brother to keep up with in all things. Especially when it comes to trees, scooters, baseball and basketball. She can climb a tree better than anyone I know.

 

She gets that stuff from her mom...

 

I did not grow up fearless. I am the cautious one of the family. I am content to watch them have the fun in many cases, although I often cringe in anticipation of disaster. The falls and scrapes happen sometimes. I get the medical kit and patch up the boo-boos.

 

I just look forward to the cuddles and being able to say...

 

"Starbuck, what do you hear?"