2019 was not a good year.
In fact, I am kind of looking forward to seeing it in the rear view mirror so to speak. Then logic also tells me that just because I have now labeled 2019, it does not necessarily mean that 2020 will be better. To make next year better will take increased focus, planning and the ability to dodge whatever it is that makes any given year go down in the books as "bad."
2019 was rough. There were multiple changes at work. We wrought even more changes for Indiana EMS with the state and scope of practice. Things that I have participated in for many years have started taking a different turn and direction than I may be able to follow. I have not been camping in quite a while (which kind of shakes me to the core a little). In fact, I am just now using some PTO time for the first time in quite a while as well. It has been busy.
And then I can go on to lament about health. I started CPAP mid-year after a sleep study showed that I had serious sleep apnea. My weight loss has stalled (I have been in a five pound range for almost eight months). My wife has been very ill this year with little relief.
In another week, we will be out from under the old house that we have been trying to sell for three years (in reality, closer to 10 years on and off the market). This will help ease worries a bit.
So here at the end of the year, I am learning a new position at work (and will be learning it for a long time). There is someone doing my old position, and I honestly believe once he is settled in that he will bring a breath of fresh air to the work of that position. My focus has shifted to doing what I can to make EMS a secure, fruitful and balanced career for those that I lead while ever improving the service to the community. I am rapidly learning that it is very hard to keep everyone happy, although I will bend over backwards to try. Some folks say that I am no longer "clinical." I disagree. My job is now the delivery of clinical, rather than the education, design and monitoring of clinical.
It also seems like the world was once again a little darker of a place than the year before. It is not community driven either. It is narcissism driven at best. The violence and drugs all have a root there. A root in the sinful nature of man.
This holiday season, I must confess that I am a bit tired. My wife snapped a picture of me napping on the couch with the Christmas tree behind me. This never happens. I took a short trip to see family at Barkley Lake a few days ago. I spent a lot of that trip asleep. It is unlike me to rest, but maybe this was simply catching up.
So Christmas as passed. Each year we try to get more into the meaning and less into the commercialized view of the holiday. I look at it each year and wonder what I can do to reinforce that focus while still making it a time of enchantment for the youngest in the house (as that time is fading fast as they grow).
Tomorrow will be the start of 2020.
I will sometime tomorrow sit down, look over my goals, adjust them and start the task of planning for the year (as well as do the semi-annual weeding out of the key ring... yes it does happen).
On January 2nd I will be back in the game, tackling several different vocations as a father. husband, church member, employee/manager and other impact related pastimes. I will be trying to make a positive impact in each. Some things I will succeed with and others will be failures in part or whole, but I will do my best.
But the one thing that I will keep at the forefront is the fact that I can do no good of myself alone. God also does not promise me success or happiness here. Those rewards and that promise is for later. For now the battle at hand is in the words of the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 6:
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.
Everything else that I do in life is of vocation and the opportunities to serve are a gift in the form of each of those vocations. I cannot succeed at those vocations without focusing on the wrongs in the world.
Sometimes, the short period of time at the end of the year is a good place to put reflections and improve focus. I am not sure about resolutions, but taking inventory and redefining focus are never bad things.
So take a few minutes tonight, or tomorrow on the first day of a new year and focus on the things you can do. God has taken care of the big stuff at the end of life. You just need to figure out how to manage the vocations with His help and guidance.
I, for one, now that I cannot do it on my own.
And none of us are expected to do so. So take on the world with contentment.
Have a blessed 2020.
